Problems related to anger are frequent complaint professionals psychology. There are even therapists who specialize solely on anger and aggression, which speaks of that it, is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients ask, since it is often difficult to handle aggressive or angry without outside help trend.
Today we discussed the problem of anger and aggression, and describe some tips to control it.
What exactly is anger?
Anger is an emotion that is characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, blood pressure and levels of noradrenaline and adrenaline in the blood. It is also common for the person who feels anger redden, sweat, tense muscles, breathe faster and see increased their body energy.
Being an emotion related to the aggressive impulse, some experts say that anger is the manifestation of the response emitted by our brains to attack or flee from danger. Moreover, the proper mental state of the moments of anger and instinctual drives us is our ability to reason.
The causes of anger
Anger can arise from a state of insecurity, envy, fear and so on. Anger can also occur when we are unable to cope with a particular situation can hurt us or disturb us how people act in our environment.
In short, anger or aggression often occurs in situations that we perceive as a threat. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, frustration or even fatigue.
When we feel frustrated with something, we can react in several ways. In the case at hand, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggressiveness, meanwhile, it is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.
Anger arises from an automatic mode to some situations that hinder us to achieve goals or objectives. The emotions we feel do not occur for any reason, but each has a specific function. In the case of anger, the brain causes this state to prepare to make a higher effort to overcome the difficulty that has been presented to us.
Types of Anger
Anger has many sides and takes different shapes:
- Aggressive behavior and violence may occur as a way to achieve different objectives when we have not been able to achieve without violence. In this case, we could speak of an instrumental anger, because we use it as a means to get something. Therapists associate this behavior to a poor communication skills or self-control type, but it is always possible to improve these aspects.
- Anger can appear as an explosion, because of having endured long an unfair or disruptive situation. Thus, small daily frustrations accumulate and, based not express our discomfort, just bursting at one time or another. The solution to this kind of vicious circles is properly managing anger, and not goes accumulating it to explode.
- Anger as a defense arises when we perceive that we are attacking or we face a difficulty. Normally, we tend to react more negatively by intuition than objective facts, which may lead to our anger is just objectively justified.
How to control anger
Become aware of the causes that lead to a state of anger is a big step to move towards good management of our anger. Learning to control anger passes learn to rationalize some emotions and irrational impulses and relativize the reactions that produce us some life events.
Otherwise, aggression and anger can lead us to a permanent state of alert which can generate bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in managing anger is self-control, but also includes the following dynamics towards developing prevention anger:
1.Do not accumulate anger but properly manage
When something wrong happens and we do not react, we accumulate rage and anger. Sooner or later, all this anger that we are keeping explodes and may lead to an episode of verbal violence and / or physical. It is therefore important to address the problems with assertiveness and control, not to let the ball grows angry at times.
2.Avoid the mentality of win / lose
Many times we get angry reaction to the frustration of not having achieved some goals we posed, or when something has not gone as expected. In these cases, empathy is the distinguishing feature between those who know how to manage frustration, anger management and accept setbacks with sportsmanship. We must avoid raising interpersonal relationships as a game where you win or lose.
3.Reflect on the causes and consequences of our irascibility
Think about it and consider whether our emotional reaction is really justified we can help. Many times we do not think why burst into a fit of anger, for example when driving a car and react instantly insulting or making gestures to other drivers when they do something wrong. At that time would be vital to meditate on why we react this way: Have you thought about the possible consequences of having an episode of anger while you’re driving? Seen this way perhaps it is worth taking these situations differently.
4.Get enough rest
When we are physically and mentally exhausted, our reactions of anger and aggressive impulses are more frequent and have fewer tools to manage them. It is therefore necessary to rest and get enough sleep: both quantitatively (sleeping at least 8 hours) and qualitatively (sleep well).
In addition, several times during the day when we are most vulnerable to explode with anger and that varies from person to person. We are able to control anger when we are rested, because we can better analyze situations.
5.Relaxation, meditation, self-control
Relaxation is the best way to prevent attacks of anger. There are different ways to relax: sport, yoga, meditation, Mindfulness, take a hot bath, or any method happens to distract the mind and lead to a state of positivity.
In fact, in the specific times when we find that we have a reaction of anger, it’s a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds: this will make our body detoxify of negativity and irritability we feel.
6.Avoid situations and people irritating
We must avoid find ourselves in situations that we know can increase our anger or lead to a negative state. It is also likely to meet some people who irritate you especially (the dreaded toxic people). As far as possible, we must try to avoid the contexts in which we know we can explode, and as for those who irritate us, sometimes it will be impossible to have no contact (heads, a family in particular), so as far as possible, we should try to talk to that person so that interactions not be as irritating.
7.Therapy with a psychologist
The help of a professional and accredited psychotherapist can help decisively to manage this kind of emotional reactions, particularly when it has reached a point where aggressive behaviors resulting from a bad anger are common. Psychological therapy for these cases is intended to change attitudes that lead to situations of anger, and helps achieve cognitive restructuring to allow the patient to manage and control his anger. Some emotional control techniques are also used to control and manage anger and aggression.